the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Is Oprah even human
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
