At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize