is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
