happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
