I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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