Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize