I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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