you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
