yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
