My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
