in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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