I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Edward fifth and chaser hands
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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