I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
