you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
barbara walters just said penis...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize