Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize