I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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