you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I need to calm my uterus...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
