i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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