He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize