i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
