i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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