how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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