Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
