Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
