I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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