dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
