using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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