I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
