do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
