Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
