ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
