also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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