This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
