so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize