Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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