we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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