Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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