were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
