My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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