i barfeds in our rink
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
