It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Why is your signature on my underwear?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
