in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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