I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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