a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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