I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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