Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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