i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
