she was so not down for the gang bang
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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