My liver just broke up with me...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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