Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
it glows. i had to have it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
