R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
