the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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