just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
