Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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