I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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