this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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