1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
