How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
