so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize