Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
