found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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