In the future we'll all be gay
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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