She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
