She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
