Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
