Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
